Jumat, 10 September 2010

Pardon Me While I Lose My Mind

Suffice it to say this is not the post I had planned.  It is currently 10:40pm, I am barely completing my work day *yeah.  get there.  because I know I haven't*, and feel as though I could spontaneously combust at any moment.   Given my frazzled mood I've decided to go completely off the edge and match my current state of mind to a set of pictures we took while visiting Canada.  Next week posts will go back to normal.  Until then buckle up because you're about to take a trip to crazyville!!

Even if you've only been reading a week you know I grew up on the Prairies in Canada.  While visiting my brother and his family last week we ended up at some mall (Alberta = home of the mall) where on one end was a line outside of Coach that had to have at least 100 people in it, while maybe 200 yards *okay metres* away stood the biggest outdoorsy retailer that took the slogan "bringing the outdoors in" to a whole new level.  Tape your jaw shut and come along - it was only 150,000 sq. ft!  And yes that was 4 zeros, not 3.

 Need to practice your shooting skills? 
Grab a coffee and a gun and come on over.  
Eeps!!
What was that?  You meant fishing?  Oh, okay.  
Just turn around and you're all set.
Hip waders extra.
Take notice of the stuffed polar bear on your upper left.
I tried to jump on it, but the mob wouldn't let up to give me a shot.
Hope you have eyes in the back of your head or that bear 
might eat you.
Don't worry the guy in the tree's got your back.
He'll bow and arrow it while you grab a change of clothes.
Meanwhile over at the fish tank new friendships are being forged.
I'm just trying to get my loved ones out in one piece.
Look out! Wolves!!
What was that?  A plane's going to fly into my head??
Not before these things try to bite my leg off.
(Thankfully my cheetah print top doubled as camo gear...when in Rome people)
"Don't move," he hissed "bear on your right."
Jesus take the wheel.  Is this over yet?
Niece to the rescue!!  Oops price tag issues!  No dice!!
And then I ran off screaming into broad daylight!!

You still with me?  This place was packed to the gills with Americans and Canadians who had driven for MILES to take it in.  We're talking mountain climbing equipment, boats, fishing gear, coffee cups, ear plugs, hunting paraphernalia *let's not get into a crazy debate mmmmkay?*,  winter gloves, camo sweats (which I almost purchased don't judge), rubber boots for subzero temps, tents galore, all terrain vehicles that cost as much as my car, and so much more.  It's all a blur.  A 150,000 sq. ft blur.  I vaguely recall some dimwit trying to tell me he was going to "pay cash" for some cruiser boat thing that was over $50K.  To which the smart aleck in me replied, "Why don't you just pay $240/month for the next 25 years like the sign suggests?" before shooting him a dirty and stomping offHehe.  Not impressed buddy!

I was not in LA Toto!

These pictures are the perfect summary to an absolutely hellish return to reality.  Next week I will try to come back to la-la land or at least a brighter version of reality including daily posts.  Imagine that.  In the meantime thank you to everyone who has stuck with my blog while I've been away.  I appreciate your support and look forward to catching up with all of you.  

Have a terrific weekend everyone.  Yippppeeeeeeee!!