Senin, 30 Mei 2011

Not So Great Expectations


If you had peeled by my place this weekend you would have found me wrapped in blanket, wearing my favorite things, spending time with my cats.  It donned on me Sunday afternoon that I was having a breakdown, subconsciously attempting to comfort myself by wearing, eating and doing things that made me feel safe.  This grand revelation occurred as I watched the ending of Planes, Trains and Automobiles where Neal is on the train on the last leg of his hellacious trip home.  He's remembering all the crazy moments with Del who went from stranger, to annoying stranger, to despised annoying stranger, to endeared stranger -- and suddenly while rewinding through the events in his mind he realizes that Del has no one.  Suddenly he could hear what the circumstances had been whispering to him all along.  

What do you suppose it is about some people?  That dishonesty can reign supreme with little to no effect on them?  On Friday I had someone I've known for years decline a very good job offer with one of my favorite clients --- just days after having accepted that offer.  And it gets better (or is that worse?) after having been treated so respectfully by my client this person took their offer and waved it in the face of a company she really wanted to work with to force them to accelerate their process on the job she really wanted.  Are you disgusted yet?

Pardon me while I go gag.  I might be gone for awhile.


I am genuinely deflated by the lack of character I keep coming across in people.  Users, manipulaters, climbers, people who will align themselves with whomever they need to in order to get where they want only to then turn on those people and glom onto a new group who will help them get a little higher.  I see it every day.  I avoid these people like the plague and can pick them out a mile away.  But this time this person swore she had learned her lesson and like a fool I gave her a second chance.  I ignored the whisper and it screamed in my face. 

Well thanks to 72 hours of John Hughes movies, my weekend uniform of James Perse + ripped jeans + vintage belt, copious amounts of Vietnamese food, a taste of lemon meringue waffle sandwiches and being smothered in blanket for not nearly enough time I would like to formally announce that I am done dealing with asses.  Pardon me while I assume the position until tomorrow morning when I have to get back on the treadmill yet again.  I'm nowhere near ready. 


At the very least it happened when I had three days to recover instead of just two.  Silver lining.